Dudley's New Friend
by wrongturn
Summary: ONE SHOT! Dudley’s got a new friend. Harry’s got a new… ahem… more than friend. SLASH HPDM r


A/N Completely unbelievable but sweet all the same. Read on. 

_~ My love to all_

Harry had just closed the oven door on the glistening roast chicken cooling in the oven and set out the plates when the house started to shake. 

"They invented door handles for a reason!" Harry shouted through the patterned glass as he grumpily reached the front door and pulled it open. 

Dudley squeezed himself though the entrance, catching both his elbows on the side frames and pushing Harry out of the way. 

"Brought. Friend," he grunted. "Food. Now!" 

Harry's stomach dropped. Usually Dudley spent his time out smoking on street corners with his friends and only brought them home to torture him. 

The blond haired cousin pushed him out the way and he stumbled into the spindly coat rack which tended to have pointy black hooks. But today was covered in unused coats. Yes, there was still that God-awful heat wave. 

An itchy black hat fell off the stand over Harry's eyes. 

_"Is that my popkin?"_ Aunt Petunia sang from the living room. The name made Dudley's eyebrows knit together and a recovering Gryffindor snicker and fall back among the coats at a temporary loss of strength. 

"Got a friend, mum!" boomed Dudley. 

_"Wonderful,"_ she gushed. Her voice was coming closer. She didn't notice Harry among the coats or she might have throttled him for messing up her beautiful arrangements. 

And he knew that. He still couldn't see but stayed incredibly still. 

"You have so many little friends. I don't believe I've met--" 

"Petunia where's the boy? I can almost smell the house burning down. **BOY!** Get down here this insta… _our dog, I mean_." Uncle Vernon's voice became pleasant and his footsteps stopped. "And who is this, one of Dudley's new friends?" 

"Vernon, the cooking!" 

"Right! Good thinking, dear." 

Harry could have sworn he heard Uncle Vernon mutter about _"That Bloody dog…"_. 

Aunt Petunia said, "Diddykins your hands are filthy! If you wash them you get an extra large leg of chicken!" 

_Oh no he can't fall for that!_ Harry smiled wryly. _The chicken must have walked very lopsidedly..._

"Would you like to wait for Diddums here or--Vernon NO! Don't touch the--" 

"HOLY F--" 

"--Pan--!" 

There was loud crashing in the kitchen. 

The brim of the hat was tipped up by stranger's fingers. 

"It's nice to make your acquaintance… _Harrykins_?" 

Harry gasped. "Malfoy!" And then he felt stupid for gasping. 

"Harrykins," he said calmly. 

"What are you _doing_ here? In my _house?_" 

His head was spinning. _Draco Malfoy,_ notorious muggle hater at _Four Privet Drive, Little Whining, Surrey?_ No, no. **No way.**

"I thought since this brute was so big there might be a decent helping of food on the table." He looked pointedly at Harry. "Obviously _not._" 

"It's not that bad," he argued defensively. Who was he kidding? His stomach gave a traitorous growl, something he should have been used to by now. 

Malfoy chuckled. "I see, you were just fattening him up for Christmas. Come, Potter. I'll slip you a something tasty under the table." 

Harry glowered and only followed Malfoy into the immaculate kitchen because Aunt Petunia was shrieking. 

"Dish out the food, boy." 

He had to play slave to the Dursley's, but now Malfoy _as well?_

Malfoy mouthed, _"Where are your house-elves?"_

Harry just grinned and shook his head until it finally occurred to him Malfoy was still waiting for an answer. 

_"On holiday,"_ he mouthed back. The blond wore an expression akin to incredulity and mirrored Harry's move of shaking his head and moving his attention onto 'his friend' who was taking up half the table to himself. 

"So Diddums," said Aunt Petunia after everyone was seated and their plates were full but becoming un-full quickly. 

"Is this a new friend?" Dudley grunted through a mouthful of mashed potatoes, "yeah." 

Dudley leant over and whispered to Harry, "he was killing ducks when I found him. _Watch it_." 

How didn't that surprise him. Harry raised his inky eyebrows at Malfoy who shrugged. _"Interesting creatures."_

"Well there are aren't any ducks here." Harry stared straight at Malfoy who returned it unwaveringly. 

After several minutes of staring Dudley realised he was missing something here. 

"Oi!" He kicked Harry's chair. 

"Potter," he drawled. "It sounded almost like you didn't want me here." 

"Oi!" shouted Dudley again. "OI!" 

"Is everything alright popkin? You've finished all of your chicken. Vernon give him some more." 

"Do you want to be here?" Harry asked after Dudley had been given his extra chicken. Some more gravy. Some more mash. 

"Well," said Malfoy alluring, "it really depends on the company." 

Harry swallowed. "W-what?" 

"Your so cute when your act innocent," he smirked lopsidedly. 

"HA!" Dudley shouted. "HA! MUM! DAD! DID YOU HEAR WHAT DRACO JUST SAID!" 

Dudley banged the table in good humour with his powerful fists. 

Harry's blood ran cold and a blush rose to his cheeks. Malfoy slipped his hand under the table and trailed his fingers along Harry's knee. 

"HA HA HA! HE CALLED HARRY A BOOT! HA HA!" 

Everyone stared dumbfounded at Dudley as the table shook under his movements and pictures dropped from the walls. 

Though Harry had trouble concentrating. He glanced at his Aunt and Uncle: Aunt Petunia decided to laugh along with her son, and Uncle Vernon was nursing his burnt had with red-rimmed eyes. 

"M-Malfoy stop it," Harry ordered quietly, not liking the effect on his body. 

He grinned. "Make me." 

The blush staining Harry's cheeks was now worse than ever. Harry pushed Malfoy's hand away. 

When the dishes had been cleared away (by Harry) Dudley had suggested a game of "duck spotting" with a hungry look in his eyes (at Harry). 

Malfoy said he would delight in capturing a certain duck and Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia bid them a good evening and went into the living room to watch the news. 

Malfoy looked at Harry, "This one is mine, though." 

Dudley cackled. 

And when everyone had regained their balance and Aunt Petunia had picked the tables and the chairs off the floor in the other room the games began. 

"Go!" Dudley shouted and Harry hastily backed out of the room, all to aware of his cousins games, and all too worried about Malfoy's. 

"Potter you're mine," Malfoy drawled lazily. Dudley was still in the kitchen and he snaked a hand over Harry's shoulder and chest, keeping him firmly in place. 

A hot blush rose to Harry's cheeks. 

"Don't," he said. "Dudley's coming." 

Malfoy was too close for comfort and his hot breath was on Harry's neck making him shiver. 

Malfoy pulled Harry into the cupboard under the stairs and closed the small door behind him. 

Harry noticed how tall they'd both grown since first year and how they stopped so as not to hit their heads. His shoulders felt cold without Malfoy draped over him and he briefly wondered what his friends would think… 

Harry shook his head to clear his thoughts. 

"Any more problems, Mr Potter?" 

It was dark inside the cupboard. Thin strips of light seeped from the hallway to make just more than silhouetted visible. 

"This used to be my bedroom," said Harry conversationally motioning with his hand. "Obviously though, the people in here before me choose the décor." 

Malfoy cocked an eyebrow. "Hmm," he said. "You have a defenceless boy in your bedroom, Potter. What _are_ you going to do with him?" 

Malfoy closed the distance between them. 

Harry gulped. He suddenly felt more self-conscious and Malfoy advanced forward and almost predator-like look in his bright eyes. 

Malfoy tipped his head slightly. His aristocratic features were in shadow and his face was ever closer. He whispered, _"I am not one to wait, Potter."_

And Dudley may well search the house for every stray duck he wanted, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon may drink sweet tea in the living room. But the point is, Draco's lips captured Harry's, and Harry gave in. 

_La fin_


End file.
